Act Now! A Woman's Struggle Against Surgery

Hellinger (to Leah): What is your issue? Leah: I have aortic stenosis, but I don't want to have surgery. I feel a strong resistance to it. However, my doctor warns me that my heart may not survive for very long if I choose not to have the surgery. Hellinger: Let's set up a constellation with two people. Leah: Two people? Hellinger: Yes, you and your heart. (After she chooses representatives): Now arrange them in their positions. Hellinger (to the two representatives): I won't tell you what to do. I want you to move freely, following your feelings. (The representative playing Leah's heart becomes very anxious, clutching her chest and running around both on and off stage. Eventually, she runs out the door. Leah also clutches her chest.) Hellinger (to Leah's representative, as she hesitates and looks uncertainly at the door where the "heart" disappeared): "Hey, come on! Move! Do something!" (The representative finally runs out the door to chase after her heart. The rest of the participants laugh.) ☛☛☛

Hellinger (to the other participants): No, don't laugh. You must stay quiet; this is a matter of life and death.

(Hellinger walks to the open door and looks outside. Leah's representative is busy comforting the heart’s representative. After a moment, he speaks to Leah.)

Hellinger (to Leah): Go over there and see what's happening. (To other participants): Her representative is stroking the heart’s representative and trying to care for it. I can see them from here. (Leah brings both representatives back and stands with them in front of Hellinger.) ☛☛☛ Leah: I find this whole experience so strange, what’s happening here. Hellinger: Now, what do you want to do? Leah: I want to bring them closer together. Hellinger: How can you do that? Leah: Well, there's got to be a way to keep them together. Hellinger: In practical terms, what does that mean? Leah: My heart needs to like me. 

Hellinger: How will you make it like you? 

Leah: I need to provide good conditions for it. 

Hellinger: What kind of good conditions should you provide first? 

Leah: I need to undergo surgery.

Hellinger: Yes, you need to go for the surgery. That’s it. (To the audience): Sometimes, strange things happen. I didn’t do anything; I just put the arrow on the bow, and it shot off by itself. If you allow the process to unfold naturally, and the facilitator simply follows the outcomes that genuinely arise from the actions taken, then things can happen. ☛☛☛ Hellinger: Recently, I had a rather peculiar experience. This January, I held a session for cancer patients for the Austrian Cancer Society. In that session, there was a woman who was suffering from cancer and was in very serious condition. I tried to work with her, but since she was completely shut off from the outside world and had hidden herself away, the work wasn’t effective, and I had to stop. But the next day, she said she needed to take action because she had some very frightening thoughts. So, I asked her to attend the session again.

She said she suddenly remembered having had two miscarriages in the past. As she spoke about it, she trembled all over. Then she said that a truly bizarre thing happened after she had surgery for her tumor. When she woke up from the anesthesia, her adult daughter came to see her and said, "Mom, there are two children screaming in the house. I brought them here." Her daughter symbolically placed the two children on her mother's shoulders—these were the two children she had miscarried. However, her daughter had no knowledge of these miscarriages. When you reach this level of understanding, things naturally begin to have an impact. Sometimes, strange things do happen. This woman I’m talking to you about took those two children into her heart, and suddenly, she felt a surge of vitality! After that, she was able to move forward smoothly and successfully set up her family constellation.

Extracted from “To the Heart of the Matter” by Bert Hellinger