Fated Guilt?

When we are favored due to the sacrifices of others, we may experience guilt. In such a fated situation, we can't prevent or change these events beforehand. Xiao Wei arrived at the workshop looking ill. During a prior interview, he gloomily shared that his child was sick, his business was struggling, and his partner was leaving him. He felt lost and unable to cope with life. When asked how he ended up in this situation, Xiao Wei, who had been involved in mind-body-spirit courses for a long time, seemed to have an answer. He had heard stories from his family about how his ancestors gained significant benefits from conflicts with others and that they had performed rituals to compensate for the harm done to their victims. Xiao Wei couldn't shake off these stories and felt burdened by them. So when misfortunes happened, he believed they were deserved, thinking losses were a way of repaying a debt. For some, this sense of fated helplessness is terrifying. They may even give up easily attainable happiness or life itself, unwilling to accept the gifts of fate. They hold unrealistic notions or face what they believe they don’t deserve with an immature attitude. On closer examination, it becomes clear that such self-imposed punishment neither prevents nor alleviates misfortune and tragedy; it may even worsen the situation. Clinging to the idea of staying pure can lead to an overwhelming sense of guilt about our fate. Besides surrendering to fate and submitting to a higher power, we have no other way. This is what I call an attitude of "humility". It allows us to fully accept life and happiness as they come, regardless of the cost others might have to pay.

Extracted from “Rising in Love” by Bert Hellinger