The Five Laws of Relationships (1)

Just as the universe operates under hidden laws, human systems also follow hidden principles. Bert Hellinger, the developer of Systemic Constellation, discovered these principles. Building on Hellinger's findings and verifying them through tens of thousands of practical cases, Teacher Chou Ting Wen combined Eastern traditional wisdom and Western modern psychology to summarize the core essence of Systemic Constellation into the "Five Laws of Relationships".

These laws align with the cosmic life principles observed by the ancient sages of Chinese culture:

 • As Lao Tzu of Taoism said, "Man follows the Earth, Earth follows Heaven, Heaven follows the Tao, and the Tao follows Nature." The driving force behind these laws is the natural way, integrating love and manifesting in real-life experiences. 

    • Confucian ethics emphasize, "Between father and son, there is affection; between ruler and subject, there is righteousness; between husband and wife, there is distinction; between elder and younger, there is order; between friends, there is trust." These principles are practical applications of Confucian thought in psychology, family, interpersonal, and social relationships.

    • Like the Buddhist insights of “Karma”, “Dependent Arising” and “Emptiness”, the philosophical essence of these principles represents the truths of Buddhist enlightenment expressed in modern language. These principles provide a practical way to apply Buddhist teachings to everyday life. 

Therefore, these principles are natural; they were not created or invented by anyone—not Hellinger, nor Teacher Chou. They are laws of nature, not man-made. Essentially, the laws of relationships are manifestations of the laws of nature within the realm of relationships.

1. The Law of Wholeness

We are part of a whole system, which continuously evolves and grows, and each member must have their place.

The concept of wholeness has long been a unique perspective in Chinese culture, and it is also a discovery shared by many cultures and medical practices worldwide. This concept means that the whole exists within each small part, and through the small part, one can glimpse the whole. For instance, traditional Chinese medicine, such as ear acupuncture and Tung's acupuncture, diagnoses and treats the entire body through the ear or palm. Therefore, the concept of wholeness is bidirectional: the whole influences each small part, and changes in the small parts can affect the whole.

Similarly, relationship is an organic system as a whole. What happens within the system is reflected in its members, who take on the unresolved issues of the system. Therefore, the events of the entire system take precedence over those of individual members. At the same time, changes in individual members can affect the entire system. This holistic view of relationships transforms our understanding of people, especially regarding unexplained emotions, behaviors, and recurring family patterns. Instead of just seeing surface-level emotions or actions, we begin to understand the deeper systemic influences behind them.

Furthermore, in family relationships, the Law of Wholeness requires that anyone who belongs to the family system has the right to belong to the system and always has a "place" in the system. This law has far-reaching impacts but is often overlooked. For example, if a family member dies young, commits suicide, or faces an accident, they may be unconsciously forgotten or excluded, as if they never existed. Similarly, if a family member's behavior doesn't align with family standards—such as gambling, alcoholism, or criminal activity—they may be internally denied a place.

Whether intentional or unintentional, these exclusions violate the Law of Wholeness, as the whole system encompasses all members and does not allow any member to be excluded. Such exclusions are stored in the family's collective unconscious, prompting other members to fill the excluded person's place. As a result, the person may repeat the excluded member's tragic fate, paying the price through unexplained emotions, behaviors, illnesses, or even death. It's important to note that "family system members" refer to those within a certain range of relationships, not every distant relative.

Further Reading：The Five Laws of Relationships (2)