What Have You Done for Yourself Today?

Teacher Henry invited a participant sitting in the back to join him at the front. The participant was a woman in her fifties. Teacher Henry said to her: "I want to make sure your jaw is relaxed. You’re in a good flow, though there’s a bit of tension. The good thing is that you’re following this flow, and you've learned not to suppress it anymore—not to clench your teeth. When you can relax your jaw, it becomes much easier to reconnect with your feelings and center yourself. Breathing will give you many signals. When people are suppressing emotions, they often struggle to exhale. Exhaling is crucial, especially when you have a lot of fear. Take a deep breath out and say 'yes'—yes to life, yes to the world, yes to yourself, and yes to your parents. As you inhale again, it becomes easier to draw in life energy. So, you’re saying 'yes' to life and the world, and through breathing, you’re absorbing the life force once again. How does that feel?" Participant: I’d like to know about my relationship with work.

Teacher Henry: Who is proud of you?

Participant: … (Showing emotion and tears)

Teacher Henry: Follow your feelings.

Participant: I think it’s my dad and mom.

Teacher Henry: You want them to be proud of you, and you’ve worked very hard for that. You’ve put in so much time and effort to do well, to do things right, to please them. Reconnect with yourself and recognize how much you’ve invested. Teacher Henry then shared a Zen story:

A woman once asked a master, “What is the secret to a successful life?”

The master replied, “Make one person happy every day.”

The master paused and then added, “And remember, you are also a person.”

After another pause, the master emphasized, “Especially you—you need to make yourself happy.” Teacher Henry: Take some time to think about your personal interests. What can you do to please yourself? What special gift can you give to yourself today? What would that be? Participant: I want to go for a massage tonight. Teacher Henry: Great, and what about tomorrow? Participant: Tomorrow, I’m going to help my mom with some things Teacher Henry: That sounds like a responsibility, a burden. Do it because you want to, and it will be easier. If it’s just a responsibility, it can be tough. But if you do it with a free spirit, thinking, “I’m doing this because I love you”, it becomes easier. You might also want to give yourself a gift—add a line in your journal, asking, “What have I done for myself today?” Add a section in your calendar focused on your own well-being—“What have I done for myself today?” Does that sound good? I believe you can manage everything else in your work and professional life. Thank you!

Extracted from Mind, Body & Spirit Workshop (September 2015) by Heinrich Breuer